Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

by Gabriele R

Ghosting. “The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication", says Lexico, an online dictionary.

But when we were growing up, most of us had never even heard of it. Back then (at least according to my mum), ghosting just didn’t exist.

Fast forward to today, and ghosting is shockingly common. Some internet stats say around 50% of people have ghosted someone. And guys are not the only ones to blame!

Dorothea Meets John

Dorothea had been seeing John for over a month. Things were going great. She loved spending time with him, and he was full of creative ideas for dates.

Still, she wasn’t new to dating and sometimes wondered if things were moving a little too fast. When she shared her concerns, John reassured her and suggested they follow dating advice: take it slow.

Dorothea hated games—especially pretending to be busy when she wasn’t. John seemed serious, too. One day, he even introduced her to his parents. Yes, it was over a video call, but since his parents lived abroad, she felt it was equally important.

Two months in, things started to shift. John seemed less enthusiastic about seeing her. “Maybe he’s just overwhelmed,” she thought. “It’s okay to back off a little.”

But it didn’t get better. Slowly, John started withdrawing… until one day, he just vanished.

Dorothea tried calling, messaging, hoping he would explain. She knew ghosting existed, but deep down, she hoped John would handle it like an adult. He didn’t.

The Pain of Being Ghosted

Even though John didn’t die, this kind of breakup can feel like grief. The person is still alive, but suddenly unreachable. Someone who was so close just… disappears.

Dorothea felt sad, questioned her worth, and even briefly wondered if something had happened to him.

John hadn’t died, but the end of the relationship, especially like this, brought feelings similar to grief

As time passed, sadness turned into anger.

“How can someone not have the guts to deal with uncomfortable emotions and just talk?” she wondered. John had been brave enough to ask her out—so why couldn’t he end things respectfully?

Why People Ghost

Ghosting is cruel, but it’s also revealing.

Jennice Vilhauer, PhD, wrote in Psychology Today:

“Ghosting says nothing about you or your worthiness for love and everything about the person doing the ghosting.”

Ghosting shows a person’s lack of courage, empathy, or understanding. And sometimes, it’s even worse—they just don’t care. The message couldn’t be clearer: “I’m not ready or able to have a healthy, mature relationship with you!".

There’s No Real Answer

Being ghosted hurts. It can damage self-esteem, break hearts, and leave countless unanswered questions.

But here’s the thing: it gets easier—not because there’s an explanation, but because you eventually stop looking for one.

Ghosting sucks. It’s unfair. And it says more about the ghoster than the person being ghosted. But it also reminds us to value clarity, courage, and empathy in our own relationships.